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ai_hana
11 November 2016 @ 11:38 pm
OH WOW. It's been 5 years since my last post here. What on earth brought me back?

Well, I was having a conversation with a friend about blogging and it prompted me to come back and revisit this blog. I find it quite amusing reading through my old posts. Things that happened which made me go, "Oh right, THAT happened..." as I was reading through. It's amusing how much I read back and realised how much I have grown. There's this particular post of mine about my silly crush story that made me text him and asked him a question. I was being random of course, but he didn't seem to mind. But no worries, I just wanted to satisfy my curious mind. Now I am wondering if that was selfish of me to do that. Sorry, you!

Well, well. I am in a way glad that I did not delete off this account. I like how it reminds me of the me, 5, 6 years ago. It acts as proof that, I am alive. That I have these memories to fuel me, help me remind the me now what not to be like. That being said, I am still lacking as a human being. But I am able to handle it better this time. Travelling helps. ALOT. Even though sometimes I can't help the complicated mind of mine to be at work but, you know, it can't be helped. I'm not perfect. I've yet to find my other half but I'm hopeful. Hopeful that things happens for a reason. I just have to believe in God and God's plan for me.

To the me who might be reading this again, probably in another 5 years time, I hope you are happy. I want you to be happy. Smile and believe in that magic.
Tags:
 
 
Current Mood: amusedamused
 
 
ai_hana
11 December 2011 @ 10:27 pm
i'm miserable. 












...
 
 
ai_hana
30 November 2011 @ 02:26 pm
나...죽고싶어.
생활의 피곤해.
돈 없구. 꿈 도 없구. 아무것도 없구.
난 뭣 살아?!
 
 
ai_hana
04 November 2011 @ 12:14 am
I miss him so terribly so terribly. I've been reading Haruki sensei's 1Q84 and feels that the character, Aomame's thoughts about love is similar to mine. 

"If you can love someone with your whole heart, even one person, then there's salvation in life. Even if you can't get together with that person."

And she believes she will meet him again after 20 years, hoping by chance they will meet on the streets. Of course she knows the possibility of that is infinitely zero but she is still hoping. She has the means to find him with the help of others but she chose not too. She prefers to leave it to fate. If they don't meet then so be it. Hence that quote. 

Ngaaah....i really miss him. I saw his recent photo tagged by his friend and man...it was really heart wrenching. The feelings for him just flow and flow. He makes me wanna see him but he makes me so mad. He didn't reply nor did he acknowledged that he received my message. 

Why do i feel this way when he doesn't? Why can't i chat with him normally and not think too much? Why can't i be myself? I really think even if i get together with another guy, i can't stop thinking about him....
 
 
Current Mood: blahblah
 
 
ai_hana
16 October 2011 @ 11:48 pm
I finally did it!!! This afternoon around 5+, close to 6pm, i sent him my confession via fb. I finally put my words into action!!! I have officially no regrets now! I dun expect an answer so i think i will do just fine!!
 
 
Current Mood: calmcalm